I am pleased to announce that I now have a delightfully exciting and sufficient answer to this question. I am engaged to be married! My fiancé's name is Kate Kiforishin (her full first name is Yekaterina, but she prefers the abbreviation). I would like to spend a few moments introducing her to the reader. The most prominent characteristic of Kate is that she loves her Lord, Jesus. Her other characteristics largely flow from this first and most important trait; we will speak of these others soon.
Allow me to explain how this seemingly abrupt development came about. Kate and I met at the beginning of our first year here at Moody - Spokane, and have hung out in the same group for much of the time between then and now. Over the course of this past year and a half, Kate and I had some of the most philosophical discussions I have ever been a part of (something we have both greatly valued). Regardless of the many experiences we shared, I had no idea that she was the woman I would one day hope to marry. "But Paul, how could things have ever changed if you didn't initially consider her for marriage or at least dating? Once two people are in the 'friend zone', isn't there no escape?" I'm glad you asked, reader.
For the past six months, God has been growing my understanding of how a quality man or woman should act; in conjunction with this, He has also been greatly developing my understanding of the purpose of marriage. Let me be more specific. My understanding of beauty and dating has, for much of my life, been limited to "Hmm. She looks good. I guess I'll pursue her. I hope she can make me happy." To be honest, this is wildly misguided. One of the purposes of marriage is to bring out the beauty that a woman or man can have by helping one another look more like our good and pure God. We are not supposed to find something beautiful and sit on it (we all know how entropy works; that game won't work).
Anyway, after a week of prayer and some serious discussions, I began to see how beautiful Kate has been the entire time! Her humble heart of service had been in operation long before I entered the scene; her concern for people who are lost in the world was already showing people at work what God is like; and her cooking was...well, I won't make the reader TOO envious, now. :-) Needless to say, the things I desire in a wife were all present and abundant in Kate. I decided to pursue her, not knowing how she would respond. I didn't want to damage our friendship if she didn't have any interest in me.
The last week of January, I asked Kate if she would permit me to pursue her. To my great relief and joy, she wanted me to! In the subsequent conversations, we discussed our relationship, how to define it, what our perceptions of dating were, and where to go next. We had both previously held that dating was a step to be made only when seriously considering marriage and were relieved to be on the same page in that regard. Finally, we decided to not announce our relationship very widely because we wanted our relationship to naturally develop without the strain provided by the ever-pestering...Facebook. :-)
Kate is currently in Israel. She has been given the great opportunity to study a semester abroad and has been loving it! Every day has been mind-blowing for her. Before she left, she had a fund-raiser back at home in Seattle to help with the finances (yes, she is still wondering where the money for a return flight will come from), and some of her housemates and I decided to surprise her by coming to see her once more before she left. During that time, on February 11th, I asked Kate to officially be my girlfriend. Again, she said yes!
As I drove home from that visit, I was thinking about dating and about the state of my heart and mind, and I determined that if I had walked away from that weekend engaged, I would not have minded in the least. In fact, that commitment had already been made in my heart. There was just no ring on her finger. Well, I had already decided that I wanted to marry this girl, but the only question was one of timing. She was going to Israel soon; should I propose before she leaves? After? In the middle, on skype? NO WAY! I prayed about it, talked with my pastor, my parents, Kate's brother, and some other godly influences and I decided to propose before she left. All factors considered, this was the best option and I am confident that it was what God wanted.
One week after Kate and I officially began dating, February 17th, I made another trip to Seattle. As soon as I got there, I asked for Kate's parents' permission and blessing to marry Kate. They emphatically gave it and greatly pleased me with the way they accepted me into their family despite a significant language barrier (They speak limited English, and I speak one word of Russian - "Hello"). Next, I made my way to Kate's favorite spot in her hometown, an old, beautiful lighthouse. The details will remain between Kate and I, but I'll just say that the proposal involved joy, a kerosene lantern, an heirloom ring, a perfect window in the clouds to the brilliant stars, and one VERY beautiful young woman - my fiancé.
I am blessed to look forward to a life of ministry, difficulties, sadness, and joy alongside this beautiful woman. Please pray that we would be given wisdom and grace in the coming times; we are two flawed vessels who want to be like Jesus. Only God can make that happen.
- May His Radiance Fill the Earth
P.S. She was very pleased to receive my great-grandfather's class ring as an engagement ring instead of the traditional ring. She considers this to be a more significant gesture than a stack of cash and a tiny rock could muster. (Wow. My kind of girl!) :-)
